Three Men Stand at Urinals, Only One Looks Down

The Republican Gubernatorial debate took place last night. Look elsewhere for what went down and who made whom his rhetorical whipping boy in this evening's three-way festivities. But for your easy digestion, here's the quick Sad City Hartford run down.


Michael Fedele
Experience: Current Lt. Governor.
Looks like: Johnny Sac from the Sopranos (sounds like an NFL quarterback taping a United Way commercial).
Positives: He never made his wife sign a letter saying that he didn't beat her.
Negatives: Takes taxpayer money to print bumper stickers, looks like the kind of guy who would like a new hot tub for his lake house.

Tom Foley
Experience: Formerly the president of Kruger Industrial Smoothing.
Looks like: Mr. Kruger (See above).
Positives: He would be hysterical as governor. He would probably give Pedro Segarra a nickname like "Koko."
Negatives: Well, there is that whole thing.

Nelson "Oz" Griebel
Experience: Former banker, minor league pitcher and head of the MetroHartford Alliance.
Looks like: A president in a movie who has been eating way too many lemons.
Positives: He is all for opening liquor stores on Sunday.
Negatives: Likes school voucher programs, wants to give up on the public school system.