Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A West End Tragedy


The crack Sad City news teams has uncovered this feathered tragedy, a tragedy that has been  been ignored by both local police and the lamestream mainstream media. On a cool early spring night the Sad City news team was traveling down Warrenton Ave when we came upon this scene that simply took our breath away. 

We didn't know the name of this young black bird but we summoned all of our powers in an attempt to revive the black bird through Jedi mind tricks. Alas, it was too late and our feathered friend had already passed into the netherworld. But what does it all mean? 

Certainly the blackbird had met it's death, a cessation of sustaining bodily functions in a living organism, but was this death natural or accidental? The Sad City CSI crew took on the scene and determined there may be more to the story than what some will lead you to believe.

From the placement of the blackbird's body one might be lead to think that the blackbird got careless and fell to a demise from the tree above.

Yet what most professional investigators would obviously overlook is the 2x4 laying across the carcass, a clear indicator of foul play. 

One can only speculate why this tragedy befell this poor blackbird. Was it money? Love? Sex? Drugs? Or an act of pure random violence? 

While we can only speculate on what happened to this poor bird, we should also pontificate on the lack of media coverage and investigative response to this death. Is it because it happened in the West End, a neighborhood that is rarely covered? Was it because this bird was, apparently, not amongst the elite flyers? 

Or dare we say it, was the lack of coverage and response due to the color of this bird's feathers? 

While you chew on that food for thought, we went above and beyond to make it all about us and wrote this little ditty to remember our feathered friend by. We never knew you little friend, but we will never forget you either!

You were only waiting for this moment to be free. Fly, blackbird, fly!!!








7 comments:

  1. Have we ruled out suicide?

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  2. Clearly the work of a marauding band of snow white doves! The "Coo-Coos" and the "Caw-Caws" are indistinguishable on the tape of the 911 call.

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  3. hahahahahahahaha AWESOME

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  4. Dying. Definitely the color of his wings. I call shenanigans.

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  5. Did a scene like this inspire Wallace Stevens?

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    ReplyDelete