The Six Most Dangerous Things in Hartford

Last week, Hartford cracked the top 20 on the America's Most Dangerous Cities list. Quite frankly, the fact that we were #19 on the list was good news. In fact, we even beat Connecticut's Perineum City, New Haven, who checked in at #18.

So how did we even end up in the top 20? Sad City Hartford decided to take a look at the six most dangerous things in Hartford to explain.

1.) Bullets
Guns don't kill people, bullets do. In the last year, more than 250,000 people were injured or killed last year by bullets in the City of Hartford. That's a staggering figure when you consider that there are only 125,000 people living in the city.



2.) Scratch Off Lotto Tickets
Have you ever gone to your local bodega or gas station to purchase Four Loco Private Stock, only to be stuck in line for an hour as some jerk chain lottos? What is chain lotto, you ask? Chain lotto is when somebody walks into the store, buys some scratch off tickets, proceeds to scratch off the bar code of the tickets, quickly hands them to the clerk for scanning, waits for the clerk to pay out on any winners that they might have and then uses the money to buy more tickets. We have seen the cycle happen as many as four times in a single transaction. It's enough to make you want to punch somebody - which is enough to increase our city's danger ranking.

3.) Drugs
Umm, drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. Mmm'kay?

4.) Fake Drugs
As we have reported in the past, you can go to several gas stations around Hartford and purchase the supplies you need to either dilute your real drugs or manufacture fake drugs. Good stuff. It sure would be nice if someone could do something about this.




5.) Rachel Lutzker
A recent Trinity College study has concluded that the sound of Rachel Lutzker making witty banter while she reports on traffic is enough to make you want to stab your ear drums with a #2 pencil. That is a very dangerous situation.

6.) Gambling
Did you hear? Our favorite has-been radio talk show host was recently busted for being part of a large scale gambling operation. No one was shocked. Not even perpetually dense, stereotypically white, old guy sports columnist Jeff Jacobs. Fun sidebar about the Sebastian arrest: did you know that one of the guys who was also arrested was an 81-year-old man? We really hope more details on this case emerge. Right now we can only speculate that the 81-year-old man was responsible for making book at local nursing homes. With 81-year-old bookies in nursing homes, Hartford is a much more dangerous place.