With its low self-esteem and high urban blight, Hartford is the ultimate underdog city. Sad City Hartford documents the joys, sorrows and eccentricities of New England's Rising Star.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Grapevine

This grapevine canopy made us think of the warmer days left behind just a few weeks ago and sadly not to return for about six months. Most of the grapevine canopies we find in Hartford are in the South End primarily at Italian residences. Grapevine canopies are awesome in that they serve handful of purposes. First, they look cool and what could be more important than that? There are some mighty impressive ones throughout the South End, sadly our favorite one, on Adelaide Street looks like it might not be returning.

Second, the canopies provide a great place to hang out in the warm weather. A picnic table under a grapevine canopy makes for an awesome place to hang out. Toss in a radio playing the proverbial "ball game," a sixer of Hooker Watermelon Ale, a grill a few feet away, and you've got yourself a great afternoon or evening. You might even forget you are in a city except for the fact that once every eight minutes a car will drive by blasting reggaeton.

Reggaeton, by the way, makes the Sad City official list of worst musical genres. The official list puh-lease!

3) Reggaeton: Every time we hear reggaeton out temples start throbbing and our eyelids start to flutter uncontrollably.

2) Death Metal: Heavy metal can be awesome. Death metal is just a little much. We've seen some live death metal before. It's just really hard to describe, about 1% of the words were decipherable; we sent our crack reporting team on the case, but it was unclear whether those words were repressing the other words.

Anyway the best part of the death metal show actually came when we looked the band up on Wikipedia later. The band (name long forgotten) was from Norway or Sweden (where else) and all had stage names like Lord Atticus The Crusher. The bio would read "Lord Atticus The Crusher, aged 42, lives outside Stockholm with his wife and two children." Awesome.

1) Techno/House: Is there a difference between the two? We aren't sure. What is possibly true is that it might not be that we don't like this type of music, just that we are allergic to it. What else could explain the cold flashes, sweat, panic, and near epileptic symptoms we feel upon entering a room playing house and/or techno?

Ed. Note: All music recorded after 2003 was not included, because, quite frankly, we haven't heard any of it.

Alright back to the wine canopy. The third reason wine canopies are awesome? Well after looking cool and giving you a great place to hand out, the grapes will eventually come to harvest and make some delicious wine. So after a couple months or providing you with entertainment and shelter, you can then consume the very same grapes. Kind of like when that poor kid had to eat his pet hog in A Day No Pigs Would Die.

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